Marriage Phenomenon - Being "Berted"

There's a phenomenon happening in relationships that I don't think is being effectively talked about. Why? Because I don't think we have a proper term of diagnosis. Now, I am not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. However, I have given a name to this phenomenon so that we can effectively identify it and work through it together.

I've suffered from this phenomenon often in my marriage. Yes, imagine that - my marriage isn't perfect. It's true. Our marriage has been effected. The good thing is that we have recognized it and are attacking it head on.

What is it you ask? This phenomenon is a term I coined called "Being Berted". Oh this is real... and serious. It usually starts with the indifference of one spouse and the excitement of the other and then a major shift in thinking.

I'll give you an example that just happened. Many of you may remember, our beloved bigboy-dog "Jojo" passed away on Februrary 6th of this year. We all were emotionally heartbroken, but he lived a very long time - much longer than many boxers - he would have made 13 the following month. He was an integral part of our family, our lives revolved around him. Well, after he passed, I was adamant that I did NOT want another dog. I didn't want to go through the emotional trauma of losing another one - we had lost his adopted brother Rhoman years before and that tore my heart in two as well. Besides, as selfish as it sounded, there was freedom in knowing that we could stay out all day, travel, etc and not have to worry about rushing home to him to let him out, eat, or board him if we had to leave out of town. I was sad for losing him, but happy in our new found "freedom". We all were actually.

One day, my husband mentioned getting another dog. I dug my heels in and shook my head no. He has a friend that breeds a particular dog, and he showed me pics. And as cute as they were, I didn't want to show weakness and pleaded with my husband to NOT bring another dog in this house. He agreed.

Then, it happened. The switch. I started missing having a dog in the home. There were one too many unannounced "knocks" at the door, and I missed having the sound of a bellowing dog to let people know, this isn't the house to mess with. I missed the companionship of having a dog literally laying at my feet...heck, I even missed the stinky breath and farts. And I started day dreaming....looking at the yard where my Jojo used to lay in the sun (he loved to sunbathe) and thinking of puppies romping in that space. I started letting my guard down. I read up on the breed and fell in love. I resolved - ok, let's get a dog.

I go to my husband and say "hey, I agree...let's get a dog." And honestly, I was ready for not one dog, but TWO!! Imagine that! smh. But instead of being met with a sparkle-eyed grin, I was met with a distant "Nah".

WHAT?!! Yes, I had been Berted!

So, do you understand the phenomenon? Maybe you have experienced some yourself. Now, I don't know what the cure is...I just now know I have a name for the syndrome. If you experience this syndrome, you are not alone.

So, where did I get the name? See the video below....

Bert Being Berted...