Titus 2:4-5
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
Ah, we've made it to verse 5! Finally, right? Verse 5 is very interesting – it shows how we are to LIVE as a wife. We are going to camp out here for a good while. And, I will say this, for some, just looking at this verse seems so “archaic”. I mean you tell some wives this now days, and they are going to give you a STRONG side eye. But there is a lot of merit to this verse, it holds a lot of wisdom and it would cure many of the “ills” in our society if we had stuck to it…let’s explore this in contrast with what the world has taught us, this too will be broken up into parts….
The word says to these young wives: Live wise and BE pure. We all know biblically speaking, true wisdom starts with the fear of God. Once you reverence Him for Who He is, and respect his power, He will make the choice to allow you to partake in His wisdom. And according to the word, He gives it to you liberally if you ask. Wives need to live in wisdom – it’s wisdom that lets you know how and when to approach your husband in certain matters. It’s wisdom that helps you know when to save “a little extra something” to have when times get rough. If you want a great example of a “wise wife” look no further than the decisions that the Proverbs 31 woman made. If we live in wisdom, we not only can avoid bad situations, but also care for our homes and husbands well.
The word also says BE pure. Wives are in a perpetual state of “being” – God created us “to be” for our husbands. If we go back to Genesis, we see that Eve was created “to BE” for Adam. She was “to BE” his help mate so that he would not be alone. Being pure is more than just acting like it. You can tell when a wife is acting the part of being pure. Pure in this case is defined in Strong’s Concordance as: pure from carnality, chaste, modest. Sometimes to make a point, it’s best to take the opposite. So, what does a carnal, unchaste and immodest wife look like? Let’s go to scripture:
She is manipulative: Judges 14:15-17
Then it came about on the fourth day that they said to Samson's wife, "Entice your husband, so that he will tell us the riddle, or we will burn you and your father's house with fire. Have you invited us to impoverish us? Is this not so?" Samson's wife wept before him and said, "You only hate me, and you do not love me; you have propounded a riddle to the sons of my people, and have not told it to me." And he said to her, "Behold, I have not told it to my father or mother; so should I tell you?" However she wept before him seven days while their feast lasted. And on the seventh day he told her because she pressed him so hard. She then told the riddle to the sons of her people.
Crying and throwing fits when she can’t get what she wants. And also willing to sell her own husband down the river for selfish gain.
She is lustful: Genesis 39:6-15
Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man, 7 and Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. “Come and sleep with me,” she demanded.
8 But Joseph refused. “Look,” he told her, “my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. 9 No one here has more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.”
10 She kept putting pressure on Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible. 11 One day, however, no one else was around when he went in to do his work. 12 She came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away, but he left his cloak in her hand as he ran from the house.
13 When she saw that she was holding his cloak and he had fled, 14 she called out to her servants. Soon all the men came running. “Look!” she said. “My husband has brought this Hebrew slave here to make fools of us! He came into my room to rape me, but I screamed. 15 When he heard me scream, he ran outside and got away, but he left his cloak behind with me.”
The love of her husband isn’t enough. Other men catch her eye, she’s sexually greedy, selfish, and must have more.
She is disrespectful: Proverbs 7:19-27
19 for my husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. 20 He has taken a wallet full of money with him and won’t return until later this month.[a]” 21 So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.
22 He followed her at once,like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stag caught in a trap, 23 awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life.
24 So listen to me, my sons, and pay attention to my words.25 Don’t let your hearts stray away toward her. Don’t wander down her wayward path.26 For she has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims. 27 Her house is the road to the grave.[b]Her bedroom is the den of death.
While away from the watch of her husband, she uses her time to invite other men into their “chambers”/lives and give them the attention that should be saved for her husband. "Office husbands" come to mind, as well as just regular old affairs both sexual and emotional.
She is discouraging: Job 2:9
Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!"
Instead of helping and encouraging him seek the face of God, she demeans him and pulls him away from the only Source of power that there is.
She conspires to do evil in the Lord’s eyes with him: Acts 5:1-2
But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and kept back some of the price for himself, with his wife's full knowledge, and bringing a portion of it, he laid it at the apostles' feet.
Instead of using wisdom and being a source of reason, she knowingly sins (and makes a bad decision) with him causing both of their downfalls.
These are just a few examples, the bible holds many. We can plainly see how doing the OPPOSITE of these things will help us keep a happy home and be pure in heart. But what does the world tell us?
“Your husband doesn't value you if he doesn't listen to you when YOU need him”
“It's ok to look, but don't touch!”
“Go ahead and wear that low cut shirt and skinny jeans when you are out with your girls, a little attention is a good thing – You STILL got it girl!”.
"Go ahead and be emotional. You're allowed to be that way!"
"You are so much smarter than that buffoon that you married. Treat him like the kid he is instead of the man you want!"
See where I’m going with this? Many of these thoughts are a direct assault on our wisdom as a wife as well as the purity that we should have in our hearts.
One thing that we as godly wives must remember – wisdom and a pure heart can only come from loving (doing what HE says) the Father FIRST. Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of heaven and all things will be added unto you. If you are struggling with wisdom and how to apply it to your role as a wife, seek God. If you are struggling with purity – in thought and deed, seek God. If you have these “bad” habits before marriage, I will tell you this, you MUST seek Him for healing spiritually because changing is something that you will not be able to do on your own. If you like to dress showing your body now – you might stop for a minute after marriage, but that attention seeking behavior WILL come out in other ways. If you are manipulative now, you might think that you have it together UNTIL he disagrees with you and you want your way.
If you are this way and you ARE married. I strongly urge you to seek regeneration through serious repentance to God and seeking Him for the gift of salvation and renewal – first for your own soul and next for the sake of your marriage.
And for those wives who find this writing a "no-brainer" - I commend you and encourage you to continue to pray for godly wisdom and how to BE pure and a supportive wife. That prayer can't get prayed enough!
Wow! It’s no wonder that wisdom and purity are mention here first as a way to live – if you have that, the rest should come pretty easy!
Let’s discuss!
