The Proper Context Of An Apology

Ok, so, personal experiences and reading this blog  helped to spurn my fire for this one. Everyone is apologizing these days. If you turn on the news, you will see several stories of people who said something they really meant, get backlash, and come back with an apology. A child takes back what's rightfully theirs, and the parents tell them to say "I'm sorry." Spouses are found cheating and the cheated on says "just say you're sorry". Apologies abound. Many of them meaningless because they have no clue of why they are apologizing or even worse, the person has every intention on doing whatever they did again.

How many times have you heard, "Look, just say sorry, ok?" or "Did you say sorry?" as if, the magical word will instantly make the problem (or lack there of) go away. Take the blog for example, the mother took her child from the park (who was having a good time may I add) because the child who accidentally bumped into him didn't say "sorry". Keep in mind, both children were involved in the activity, yet, the mother deemed the other child rude, and not worthy to play with anymore because he didn't say "sorry". What has become of our society? Has political correctness effected our reasoning so much that at any hint of hurting someone's feelings we must be compelled to say "sorry"? Society has taught us to place our emotional value and give power to that one word and the one that "owes us an apology". That's a problem.

And this isn't just a "worldly" problem. Christians are good at guilting other Christians into apologizing. They back up their claim to apologize with various scriptures, but they fail to remember one thing that the Father has taught us: An apology means nothing without repentance. And in order to repent, there must be a true sin.

So, while the blog that I read may not be "Christian based" in nature, it caused me to think more on apologies and in what context do we do them, why we do them, and how - in a biblical way. First, I want to look at the differences between sin, sinned, and offense. This will lead us into sorrow, then repentance and finally what a proper apology looks like - in context of the Word of God.
I believe Psalm 51 is a good starting point. Often times when one wants an apology, or one does apologize, the focus is on an individual or a group of people and their feelings. But Psalm 51 shows us the proper focus.

Psalm 51:4New Living Translation (NLT) 

4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.

In Psalm 51 we see the author recognizing that out of all he has done and the people he did them to, it was Yahweh-God (Yah) alone that he actually sinned against.  He says "against you, and you alone...". The first thing we aught to recognize is our being "sorry" or sorrow has nothing to do with people, but everything to do with Yah. He is the one that gave life and rules to it. When we break those rules it is Him that we sin against, and Him that will judge us eternally. Therefore, it is Him that we must seek forgiveness from and repent.

Second, the author recognizes he sinned. Let's look at some working definitions of "sin" and "sinned" to help us put some things into perspective.

Sin is the Hebrew word chatta'ath. This means:

sin, sinful

sin, sin offering

sin

condition of sin, guilt of sin

punishment for sin

sin-offering

purification from sins of ceremonial uncleanness

This "sin" is a condition. It is a temptation. It is giving in to do what is evil in Yah's sight. The first time we see this word is when Yahweh is talking with Cain. In His conversation with Cain, He first warns him to get his emotions in check and then do what is right. If not, this condition (sin) would be waiting for him. Here is something interesting of note: Yahweh had a conversation with Cain because Cain was angry with his brother, Abel. But, what Yahweh did not do was seek out Abel to make him apologize for making Cain angry, hurting his pride, and making him upset. Why? Because, Abel did not sin against Cain - or Yahweh. He had nothing to apologize for, even though his brother was angry with him. Now, if that happened today, we would be accusing Abel for causing the problem because "all he had to do was apologize". 

When we take on this mindset ("just apologize and move on") what we really are doing is allowing the person being emotional to offload their responsibility of their feelings on to the one "needing to apologize". When this happens, the emotional person: 

1. Doesn't take control of their own emotions 
2. Invests too much time and energy seeking validation from a person rather than Yahweh and 
3. Doesn't take responsibility when their emotions lead them to sin.
No, the emotional person should do just what Yahweh told Cain to do - get control of your emotions before sin awaits for you at the slightest moment to pounce on you. And, you do what is right.

Now, sin and sinned have two different meanings, so, let's go there and get a working definition of "sinned". This word is chata' khä·tä', which means:

to sin, miss, miss the way, go wrong, incur guilt, forfeit, purify from uncleanness

(Qal)

to miss

to sin, miss the goal or path of right and duty

to incur guilt, incur penalty by sin, forfeit

(Piel)

to bear loss

to make a sin-offering

to purify from sin

to purify from uncleanness

(Hiphil)

to miss the mark

to induce to sin, cause to sin

to bring into guilt or condemnation or punishment

(Hithpael)

to miss oneself, lose oneself, wander from the way

to purify oneself from uncleanness


Again, the author recognizes in Psalm 51, that he missed the mark, was bringing guilt and condemnation on himself - "your judgment against me is just" - and had wandered from the "way". He sinned against Yahweh-God and was earnestly looking for forgiveness, and speaking of repenting. He realized, there was an infraction on Yah's laws that He had done against Him, even through other people (v.14 - "forgive me for shedding blood").

One thing that many people do is confuse "sinned" with "offend". Many think that when you "offend" someone, you must apologize. This frame of thinking has lead many Christians to take the verse Matthew 18:15 out of context by replacing "sin/trespass" with "offend". But let's think about how much sense the line of thinking you must apologize for an "offense" (as the term is commonly used) makes.

In today's terms, we "offend" someone every day. Say "negro" instead of "African-American" someone is "offended". Marry someone out of your ethnicity, someone is "offended". Hurt someone's feelings, someone is "offended". Tie your shoes wrong, someone is "offended". Eat pork, someone is "offended". Don't invite someone to your wedding, someone is "offended". Say something that is true, someone is "offended". Say Jahova instead of Yahweh, or Yahweh instead of God, or God instead of G-d, or say God at all, and someone is "offended". Shall we apologize every single time? Here is a better question, why do we place so much of our emotional value in someone else's apology? On top of all of this, there is a truth that needs to be revealed. There is a major difference between sin and offense and often times, "offense" is used out of context.
 

Now, let's look at "offense". This word is skandalizō, which means:

to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall, metaph. to offend

to entice to sin

to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey

to cause to fall away

to be offended in one, i.e. to see in another what I disapprove of and what hinders me from acknowledging his authority

to cause one to judge unfavourably or unjustly of another

since one who stumbles or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed

to cause one displeasure at a thing

to make indignant

to be displeased, indignant

As by definition, often times, one who comes to say the other has "offended" them, really aren't offended. It is more than likely their feelings and pride are hurt. One should notice, several of the instances of "offend" in the New Testament speaks of making one to stumble or fall away (from the faith), not to hurt someone's pride/feelings or to make them upset.

One more quick thing I'd like to point out. I'm sure many reading will say "well, what about Matthew 5:23-24?" The answer to that is, you must go deeper than what you are reading in your translation. In the King James bible, the translation says "and there rememberest that thy brother has ought against thee...", in the New Living Translation (which I linked to) it says "and suddenly remembers someone has something against you...". The NLT seems a little softer in its approach. The KJV's word and intention behind the word "ought" means a justifiable wrong doing.

Remember, at the time of Jesus speaking of this, they were still under the Law of Moses. There were over 600 some-odd laws that could be pointed to as an infraction against Yahweh and could be proven to be justifiable. They had to keep ALL of them. Most of them were things for which you could be taken to "court". This is why in the next few verses, Jesus warns them to quickly settle the matter so that you won't be taken to court. No one goes to court over hurt feelings or things that can't be proven "justifiable". 

You also see the person was admonished to leave his "gift" there at the alter. This person was bringing a gift of sacrifice. His going to the person who had ought against him, a "justifiable wrong doing", was something that needed to be taken care of so that a sacrifice could be made. Again, this alluding to this situation having to do with the Law of Moses.  And while this point that Christ made in His time is beyond valid, we also have to remember, as New Testament believers, we are no longer to be guided by the Law, but by the Spirit of God (for those who have been redeemed through the sacrifice of Christ). And while the two won't contradict each other, they both have their "place" in a believer's life. The example given by Christ is to show a believer the value of going to your brother seeking reconciliation of a "justifiable wrong doing". But, if we are to right a wrong, it is not so that we can hurry up so we can complete our sacrifice, it is because the Spirit has shown us it is the right thing to do because we have somehow sinned against the Father and need to be forgiven.

Ok, so, let's finish up Psalm 51:4. Last, the author says: "I have done what is evil in your sight". He has come to recognize that it doesn't matter what others think about what sin or offense is, it is what is evil in the sight of God. And because the ultimate goal is to please Him, that is what he is coming to Him about.

The beautiful thing about this passage is that he recognizes how his actions have angered the Father. When we recognize how much our sin angers the Father in heaven, we become sorrowful. We hurt. We are crushed. We are even angered at ourselves for doing what we did to the only One who can give us life and take it away in an instant. These emotions are what He wants from us as described further down in the passage:

16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering.17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

This directly corresponds with what Paul says:

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)

10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.

Godly sorrow is just that - it wakes us up to realize our sin and makes us crushed. Thereby making our repentance to the Father, real.

I had no intention on my point of "sorrow" to be so quick, but there is really nothing else to say. So, I think this is a great transition to talking about repentance. Let's explore that a little more and get a good working definition of "repentance".

Repentance is the word metanoia. It means:

a change of mind, as it appears to one who repents, of a purpose he has formed or of something he has done

It is with Him that we want to make everything right which then causes us to have a "change of mind". But before we can even have a change of mind, we have to be humble enough to realize we must change. It is pride that keeps us from seeing the need to turn away from sin. Our pride will make us say that we are smarter than God and can get away with our sin. It is our humility that makes us say "God sees and knows everything - and He is everywhere."

Let's consider this verse:

2 Chronicles 7:14New Living Translation (NLT) 

14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

Notice, repentance brings healing and forgiveness. The Father gave just those three things to do and look at the huge promise He gave them. All he wanted was for them to humble themselves and realized they sinned, seek Him and repent and He would do all the restoring.

If we are to be truly sorry, we must also repent - humble ourselves and stop doing what we did. It is not enough to just feel bad about what we have done. We now have to feel bad enough to become humble and not want to do it again. If one has not made up their minds that they never want to sin against Yahweh again, they haven't repented. They just made an "empty apology". This is why many will continue to do the same sin over and over. They haven't come to true sorrow and repentance. 

This is dangerous and it is playing with fire. For you can not come into the kingdom of Yah without repenting (turning away) from your sin(s). This repentance leads to restoration, healing, AND being able to be lead and filled with His Spirit that will lead and guide us into all truth. His Spirit is also charged with restraining us and making us aware of those things that anger Him. Through repentance, we literally start to have "the mind of Christ" because we have His Spirit.

The Apology...

So here we are - we have come to the apology. If we go back to the very beginning, to have a meaningful apology to anyone, we must:

First be lead by the Spirit to recognize that we have actually committed what God has declared a sin and have broken His law (different from "The Law") and therefore angered Him. To apologize and not know what you are apologizing for does no one any good.

Once we have recognized that we have angered Him, we go and find the "evil" we have done in His sight, and repent from it. Sometimes this "evil" is very apparent sometimes not so much. If it is evil that you have done to a person, seek that person out. If it is evil you have done in form of a deed, seek it out. If you are not sure, seek Him out so He can tell you.

Once we have found the evil we must repent. We must decide that we will no longer sin in that way. If you have done evil or sinned as God has said you sinned to a person, then it is necessary to make it right. Sometimes an apology is necessary, sometimes restoration of whatever you took/harmed/did is necessary. Seek the Father on how to make it right.

If these things aren't done, then your apology, or attempt to correct your wrong, is empty and meaningless.

If you have not sinned and done evil in the sight of Yah, then your apology is unwarranted and not necessary. Sure, it is a nice thing to do to make another feel better about themselves, but it is not necessary. Don't get caught up in the "apology game". If someone has some ill toward you and it is not justifiable, that is a problem that person really needs to take to Yah in prayer about. If that person doesn't know Him, it would be a good time to get to do so. It is not your place to validate someone's emotions. You will be another pawn in the game where the enemy gets people to put their hope and trust in man to make them validated rather than Yah.

I know this may not make sense to a non-believer. But for a believer, it should make perfect sense. For the non-believer, I will say this: Many times in our life, we have put too much hope, trust, and validation in a person only to be let down. Human's are not perfect and they fail. They abuse and misuse trust, because that is nature. But, there is One that is perfect and if we put our hope and trust in Him, He will never fail. That One is Yahshua, the Son of the perfect God, Yahweh. They can not lie, they can not deceive. They can not let us down. It is to them we owe all that we are, and it is them alone who can restore and validate us. Stop looking to man to make you feel better, and stop feeling like you have the power to make another "whole".

I hope my interpretation is clear.

Have a good one!

Through It All One Thing Is Constant

Today, I celebrate my five year kidney transplant anniversary with my sister. She was so selfless and gave a part of herself to me so that I can have a little while longer here on this earth. Thinking about her and then my life, I look back and think about how blessed I am to experience life. Even with all it's ups and downs.

Life. It really throws unexpected twists and turns. Really, nothing is ever constant - except the Father in Heaven. Relationships aren't constant, money isn't constant, freedom isn't constant, health isn't constant. Our brother Paul said it best:

Philippians 4:11King James Version (KJV)11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

On emotions: I have lived for over 36 years. In my time here on earth, I have experienced so many tears, but yet so many side-hurting, gut-busting laughs. I have experienced loneliness and I have experienced the pleasure of company. I have experienced the agony of family struggle and I have experienced the joy of family triumph. I have and have been misunderstood and I have been correct and corrected. And through it all, Yah remained constant.

On relationships: I have experienced making friends and I have experienced the fading away and break up of friends. I have experienced the fulfillment of trust and I have experienced the pain of betrayal. I have experienced late night talks and I have experienced the conversation slowing down to a complete stop. I have experienced love and I have experienced heartbreak.Yet, Yah remained constant.

On prosperity: I have experienced financial freedom and I have experienced being bogged down with debt. I have experienced owning my own home and I have experienced a foreclosure. I have experienced eating a wonderful meal and I have experienced sharing meals with homeless men. I have experienced taking two steps forward and I have experienced taking 5 steps back. Yet, Yah remained constant.

On religion: I have experienced being one of the most dreadful of sinners and I am experiencing being one of the redeemed. I have experienced megachurches and I have experienced the fellowship of a few. I have experienced false teaching and I have experienced the lone truth of Yah. I have experienced legalism and I have experienced the freedom of Christ. I have experienced being "spoon fed" and I have experienced feeding myself. Yet, Yah remained constant.

On health: I have experienced perfect health and I have experienced living life on a machine. I have experienced taking handfuls of medicines and I have experienced only taking a few. I have experienced the pain of multiple surgeries and I have experienced the comfort of healing from them. I have experienced doctors telling me I don't have long to live and to call my family and I have experienced walking out that same hospital door giving Yah the praise. Yet, Yah remained constant.

Through all of my trials and all of my triumphs I have experienced in life - the life HE has given me to live - HE has remained constant. Be encouraged. As I celebrate 5 years of my second transplanted kidney, I marvel at how insignificant my life is. It can go downhill in an instant, it can pass away at any moment. But the one "Thing" that will always be constant is Yah. He never began and He will never end. He will remain constant.

Have a good one y'all!!!

Knowing How and When To Stay Quiet

As a continuation of a blog I wrote on "Truth" a couple of days ago. I provided a Facebook conversation I had with a brother where he contested my stance on truth first, then unity etc. That blog post can be seen here.

A day after, he responded again - to which I did not respond. Because of our history, I understood the place where the contention was coming from based on the verbiage and chose not to continue in conversation. Not out of cowardice, but because I understand that no matter what I say, we will continue in circles. And I don't think that's wise, or fruitful. However, there was something that he said that gave me paused and caused me to go into prayer to seek clarity.

Here is what was stated:

Unrevealed truth is a mystery. Surely His body can't be divided over mysteries.

No sooner than I went into prayer, the Father gave me the image of both the woman at the well, and the man being healed of leprosy and a bible verse to go with them. This blog entry is not to bash, but to help some of you that have been revealed something but asked or even told to "stay quiet" by the Father.

Not everything is meant to be said when people want you to. Not everything is meant to be revealed right away. Yah's timing is perfect in all He does. His plan never fails. If you trust that, then you also need to trust that you have to do what HE says do when HE says to do it. It may cause others anguish, it may cause you anguish. But it is always better to please the Lord rather than man. I want to share with you a couple of things the Father has shared with me below.

In the book of John Chapter 4 verses 4-42, we find the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. When the Father showed me this story during my prayer, I instantly knew what He was getting at. See, in this story, a woman with a sordid history encounters Truth - she encounters Yahshua (Jesus). They have a conversation, where He has a private one-on-one conversation with her. She asks a question of Him and He reveals things to her that others didn't understand or see because of the conditions of their heart. As a result of their conversation her heart is changed, she runs to her town and reveals the conversation and what He revealed. What the reader should notice is, He did not hinder her from speaking what He shared. As a result, many came to Him and believed.

Now, let's contrast that with another story in the bible. This story can be found in Mark Chapter 1 verses 40-45. Here, we find a man with leprosy and encounters Yahshua. The man has a conversation with Him and asks to be healed. Yahshua has compassion on the man and heals him. But here is something that the reader wouldn't expect. Yahshua tells the man "Don't tell anyone about this." He goes on to give the man specific instructions of what to do instead. But, being disobedient in his excitement of being healed, the man does just the opposite. He runs through town telling everyone of his experience and encounter with Christ. In doing so, people flooded Yahshua's presence. But unlike the Samaritans, they did not come to believe. They came for the physical things that the Father was doing through His Son - healing. See, had this man followed Christ's instructions, people would have seen this man's public testimony, the priests would have had a chance to confirm what was done in the proper context, people would have been saved. But look at what this man's disobedience caused...it caused people to encounter Truth and totally miss it.

Now, I want to share a verse with you that Yah gave me that Yahshua spoke that I think applies here in this lesson:

John 8:28 So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man on the cross, then you will understand that I am he. I do nothing on my own but say only what the Father taught me. 29 And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” 30 Then many who heard him say these things believed in him.

If the Christian's goal is to be like Christ and have the mind of Christ, we are not to cave to man's standards and needs. We ARE to understand we are bought, paid for with the price of His blood, and we are to do nothing of our own - only what the Father instructs us to do. When we speak when He says speak, we will please Him. But, to speak when others say so and He hasn't, is disobedience.

So, the question is "how" do we stay quiet? Believe me when I tell you, there have been times where I have had to figuratively bite my tongue until it bled. Paul gives us great advice:

1 Corinthians 9:25 Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 27 But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

We have to master self-control (and Lord knows, I'm STILL working on it). The man healed of leprosy was so emotional that he lost all self-control. Cain was so emotional that he lost self-control. If Yah has entrusted us with information not to be shared, we are to exercise self-control and follow His instructions. It doesn't matter how many times people goad you into trying to speak. Remember, you are to do the will of the Father and not man. Him telling you to be quiet is not you holding a mystery and causing contention, it is you being obedient. This is something important to understand. Speaking when the Father tells you NOT to speak is putting yourself in danger and it is also working against the Father and His will.

Everyday, I pray the prayer that the Father would help me to use the discernment, wisdom and knowledge that He has given me and to increase what I already have. Although I pray that prayer everyday, it is not because I am begging Him or don't believe He has already done it. But I pray that prayer as a reminder to myself that what I asked for, I have and I need to have wisdom in order to serve the Father well. I thank Him for blessing me with the gift He has for me and allowing me to grow in wisdom. Had this been even a year ago, I would have been the disobedient one. My personality is as such as I seek things and I have no problems exposing things when they are wrong. The Father has been teaching me self-control, how to hold my tongue and how to obey Him. In doing so, He has gained trust in me to help me see things others can not, or may not want to see. And it is all for His glory.

So, if you have this gift, or if the Father has revealed something to you that He has not revealed to others, before you speak, have self-control and ask the Father what it is He wants you to do with that information. Not everything revealed is meant to be revealed "right now".

Have a good one!

The Transition to New

It's almost spring! Good-bye cold and blustery winters. Good-bye white stuff that shall not be named. Good-bye layers upon layers of clothing. Good-bye early dark days! HELLOOOO SPRING! Hello to chirping, colorful birds, beautiful green grass, budding trees, fragrant flowers - the newness of LIFE!

We aren't there yet exactly, but we are close. Two more days. But even with the coming of the actual day of spring, we will still be in transition before we can fully say "good-bye" and start a new season. This transition is hard. For example, just yesterday I was riding around with my windows down, wearing no coat, and in my flip flops. Today when I will finally go outside, the heavy burden of shoes, socks and a jacket will be in order. Before I actually smell the fragrant flowers, and budding trees I have to be bothered with the irritants of pollen. This transition is tough.

Although it is tough, I definitely don't yearn for winter or "what was" though. I don't want to go back. I want to move forward (and I'm sure the people of Boston would agree!). Wishing for what once was does no one any good. It makes no sense to try to hold on to the dreaded white stuff when the sun and earth work together and say "no". It does no good to lament over the cold weather when you will miss out on at least a good nine months of life passing you by. So, what do we do?

Thankfully I serve the God that is always moving forward. He encourages us through our transitions. He helps us deal with the irritants and the heavy burdens we have to experience before we can see the end of transition. In order to go through transition, we have to admit to ourselves the former thing is over and something new is about to begin. Newness can be scary...for anything new is something that hasn't been explored and we are often afraid of things we don't know. But be encouraged that our Father is bigger than our fears and nothing is new to Him. His word says:

Ecclesiastes 1:9 English Standard Version (ESV)

9 What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.

Transition is tough, but it is nothing new. There will be no trouble that the Father hasn't seen and took someone through. There is no irritant that a person hasn't felt that Yah hasn't helped them overcome. There is no burden too great that a person carried that the Father hasn't offloaded onto His Only Begotten Son for us. So, as we watch the end of a season come to a close, relax and enjoy the beginning transition because at the end you will be able to enjoy the newness of another!

YAY SPRING!

Have a good one!!

Ecclesiastes 7:8-10 English Standard Version (ESV)

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.

Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.

I'm Back! Let's Talk Truth...

Maybe not, but let's say you did. Umkay?

It really feels good to blog again. Aside from the one I did yesterday, I hadn't blogged since October. So much has transpired in my life since then - the natural ups, downs, and sideways (or indifferent). Through it all, Yahweh (Yah or as some know Him - God) has been faithful. And He has taught me many lessons over the passing time. I wrote about one lesson, edification, just yesterday. Today, I want to talk about something I wrote on Facebook as well. This writing talks about Yah's way of uniting His people. However, I also believe that this writing can be shared with unbelievers. Simply because Yah is the truth, and His way will always prevail and stand. If they ever want peace, unity, and brotherly love, it's best to do it His way....and I'll explain below.

For the sake of keeping true to the Facebook post, I will just copy and paste....

I've had some discussions lately with some I consider friends. The discussions centered around the fact that there was obvious tension that "needed to be resolved". There were obvious division within the group, and there were good intentions to bring unity. But this is where we failed and things went awry. 

This stat is not meant to be passive aggressive in any way - all who know me know I absolutely loathe underhanded jabs and passive aggressiveness. So, please if you are thinking "ooo, Deidra is givin someone the business", I want to correct you and say that is *not* true. And for anyone I spoke with yesterday that might read this, please know and understand, I am not speaking in code, or "at" anyone. But I am writing this stat as a lesson for us all about seeking unity. 

The world is making a big push for us all to be united and seek unity. For Christians it is especially hard because we are being asked to push aside our convictions that we know to be truth just to "get along". For those of us who study, we know this is for an obvious and foretold end. Now, here is the thing - we should not be seeking "unity" but we should ALWAYS seek **truth**. 

Some may say that this isn't biblical. How dare I say that we shouldn't be seeking unity! But I should remind you, the same Christ Christians say they love said "Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against." (Read Luke 12) However, that same Christ said that the only way to achieve unity is to seek truth through Him and His word (see John 17).

There is an important lesson here for all to see. This world promises a false peace. People will promise you a false peace. Your emotions will promise you a false peace. False ministers will promise you a false peace. In doing so, they all promote a false unity. It is false because the "goal" is not to establish peace and unity based off of truth, but off of emotion. Going this route will keep your emotions stirred and keep you blind from seeing the truth. And if you can't see and come to truth, there will be no unity. 

So, when we find ourselves in conflict or trying to resolve it, we should ask ourselves two things:

1. Are my emotions leading my quest for "unity" and "peace"

2. What is the truth, am I allowing myself to see it and do I want to? (ok, that was really like 3 questions, but I made it one so I can keep in line with the "two" things we should ask ourselves LOL) 

I admonish my Christian brothers and sisters keep your focus on truth. Stand fast in it. Make that your goal. Make that your prayer - that *TRUTH* shall prevail, not unity. Speak it when Yah allows, for His timing is perfect. And remember along with truth comes the peace and unity we seek. 

Thank you for reading....

From this writing, I received one response from a brother in Christ. This is his response and my clarification. I will make my point after this.

I believe a misunderstanding of the Father's will is where things went awry. 

The "world's" push for unity calls for compromise. Unity within His body requires obedience and humility. 

The Scripture that was referenced above is about separation from the world not separation within His body. Christ did not come to divide His body. 

Seeking unity is very much biblical. Here are a few of many examples;
You mentioned John 17 so I'll start there. Christ prayed to the Father for unity amongst us...... 

And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
22The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,
23I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. 

1 Corinthians 1:10 KJV
Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 

Colossians 3:13-15 KJV
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. 

1 Peter 3:8, 1 John 4:12, Eph 4:3, Romans 12:16, Matt 23:8, etc., etc. There are so many more examples! 

I will now attempt to answer the 2/3 questions you believe one must ask oneself whilst in this conflict.
1. Whether one is emotionally driven or not, the orders are very much plain that we are to seek unity and peace within His body.
2./3. What is the truth? He is the Truth and His Word it's true. One is allowing himself to see by going to His Word and allowing it to have the final say.
I appreciate any lesson that is based upon Truth. This one does not hold up to biblical standards. 

My response:

Hey ____! Hope you are well. The fact is this truth still remains - Yah will never put anything above truth - as, He *is* the truth. We are to always seek Him, His truth and His kingdom above *all* things, the rest - unity, peace, "brotherly love" will be added unto us. 

Oh and one more thing. I apologize to you (and others) for not being clear in my interpretation of John 17. I didn't go into too much depth because it was suppose to be a short stat and not a long blog entry (hence the reason I didn't give all of the verses I was referring to, but the chapter. Besides, the whole chapter is great to read in context anyway). Come to think of it, I think I will make this into a blog entry... 

You are correct in that to *be* in His body requires obedience. But, regarding John 17, we all know that is Christ's prayer both for His disciples that were given to him as well as those who will eventually come to be a part of His body that won't be taken away from Him. The one thing they/we *all* had/have in common was all sought and accepted the *truth* first - for no one can come to Him unless they do. So, while He never explicitly says it, it is understood that His prayer for unity of the body was predicated on the fact that those in Him sought and accepted truth *first* above all things and *then* were united in Him. I hope I cleared where I was coming from with that scripture as I am hoping that anyone reading our discussion will have clarity on both of our parts.Have a good one!

The brother had a good point. Christ never preached against unity. The scriptures don't speak against unity. And quite frankly, neither am I. As with everything Yah does, He sets things in place and in order. While unity isn't preached against, it is taught that we should seek first the truth. The truth is what unifies us. If you should ever find yourself in conflict with someone or people, the questions I posed were meant to help you take your focus off of your emotions and look for the truth. 

And I also understand his point in that He, Yah, is the truth. But, I also want to clarify that if you have children and one breaks a lamp, while Yah and His word is the truth, one of those children still broke the lamp - that is the truth. What happens when the one who did it lies and says the other did? Conflict arises (I DID NOOT! YES YOU DID!! DID NOT!! DID TOO!!). It's best to get the children out of their emotions and come to truth quickly so that there can once again be peace and unity in your home. If you try to make them make up without coming to or seeking truth first, you may be able to make them do it by force, but you better believe there will still be resentment. And the next time the slightest thing happens (HE'S LOOKING AT MEEEE!), you will once again have conflict. So, I said all of that to say, once you find truth, then you will find peace and brotherly love. If you attempt to find unity and love before you find truth, you will always be in conflict.

I also wanted to clarify the statement I made about the "world's peace". I understand that concept is different, but I believe the point I was making was overlooked. Many people want peace - from the secular world to the various denominations (yes even "non-denomination is a denomination) in "church" to what some call the "true body of Christ". And the way that many are trying to achieve it is through human efforts. Often these efforts do involved conformity or not allowing truth to flow freely.

"What do you mean, Deidra?" Well, I'm glad you asked. I will give you two examples, one that I have witnessed personally, and one that I read about:

1. Worldly example - I read about a fire chief in a major metropolitan city in our country. He was a believer and wrote a book that glorified our Father. Within the whole book, there was a very minuscule portion that spoke against the gay life style. He was given the option to recant or resign/be fired. The mayor of this city didn't try to gain peace the way that Yah would have us which is through truth, but he did this through his own human efforts by trying to make this man conform and push aside his convictions.

2. "Church" example - I once belonged to a few different churches, different denominations. Each time I left was due to a church split because there was deceit going on whether it be stealing, manipulation, false doctrine, or basic immorality. Each time during the "church meetings", truth would try to be shared, but emotions ran so high that no one wanted to see it. And each time, those in favor of "unity" urged us to "be quiet" and shove aside our convictions, discernment, even outright evidence, and "stop causing trouble". Unless you have been in the situation, you have no idea how hard it is to share the truth with those who don't want it. But here again, we have a mass of people trying to achieve unity not Yah's way, but theirs. The inevitable happened, and the church split or people left.

Our emotions are very fickle because we are human and imperfect. When we let our emotions get in the way, we don't want truth. Maybe we don't want it because if we have the truth, we have to face ourselves. Or maybe it's because if we accept the truth, we have to get rid of what we thought we built. Or maybe it's because if we accept the truth the very thing we hoped and dreamed for we now perceive can no longer be. Or maybe it's because if we accept the truth we have to admit wrongdoing and say "I'm sorry".

Case in point, I have had talks with atheists before. As long as we didn't talk about Yah (the weather, how's the family, how's the job?) all was well. But as soon as anything pertaining to the personhood, grace, mercy etc of Yah comes about, their emotions quickly get the best of them becoming angry and not wanting to see truth.

Another case, co-workers may get along, and have a great working relationship. But, as soon as a lie is told, recognition isn't given, or feelings are hurt - things spiral out of control. The boss can do all he can to bring unity to his group. He can hold socials, meetings, team building conferences, but unless he gets down to the truth and the group sees and accepts it, he'll just be blowing his "team social budget".

These are two "worldly" examples that I'm using, but the point is still the same. When we let our emotions get the best of us, we become blinded. And unity will never form until the truth can be seen and shared. And if the truth can't be shared freely or seen, then a greater wedge (satan) will come to continue to divide and conquer. I hope you caught that "will come" - sometimes it is not satan at all that starts things, but it is us who gives him the open door. I think of the conversation that Yah had with Cain before he killed his brother Abel. Yah told Cain to get a hold of his emotions and do what is right otherwise sin would be waiting for him. Cain never did what Yah told him - anger was still in his life and he left the door open for sin to come in.

I didn't get to write all of this before because like I said, it was suppose to just be a Facebook stat. But, I will close with this last reminder:

If there once was peace and unity as a result of everyone operating out of the truth then a conflict and confusion arose, somewhere and somehow a lie entered the scene. It is wisdom to not prejudge, but watch, pray, confirm and when the Spirit of Truth (The Holy Spirit) says speak, then speak. If you ever want peace and unity again - don't chase after it until you first seek and accept the truth. And don't be afraid of where the truth may lead you. Our plans are not Yahweh's plans. Don't blind yourself in emotion trying to hold something together that could be the opposite of what Yahweh wants. Truth is truth - no matter where it lands. We as believers need to understand that where ever it lands, Yah is faithful to keep us just as He has before and He will keep us on His path of righteousness and truth. It is there while walking with Him on that path, you will once again find peace, unity and love.

I hope that all made sense. :-)  Good night everyone!

The "Hushed" Side of ED·I·FI·CA·TION

Edification ed·i·fi·ca·tion

edəfiˈkāSHən/

by biblical definition is the Greek word oikodomē (pronounced oi-ko-do-mā'). The meanings of this word are:

• (the act of) building, building up
•  metaph. edifying, edification
•  the act of one who promotes another's growth in Christian wisdom, piety, happiness, holiness
• a building (i.e. the thing built, edifice)

You hear this word quite often in “Christian circles” – most commonly used in conjunction with Ephesians 4 in reference to our brother in Christ, Paul’s descriptions of various “jobs” or “offices” given to those in the Kingdom. Those particular offices were to be used for the edification and “perfecting” of the body of Christ. This can also be found in 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul once again speaks of using certain spiritual gifts for “the Body’s” edification.

I want to look at this word closely. I think many bypass its true meaning. Often times, many look at “edifying” or "edification" just to mean “make me happy” or "encourage me". In other words, “building up” has become synonymous with only coming together to make each other feel good, boost our morale, and to encourage our Christian walk. To be edifying has a connotation of positive feelings to help us “weather the storm”.

But, this is not the full meaning of what it is to “edify” or to “build” or even grow. What do I mean? Well let’s use a parable (I’m making this up, walk with me on this lol)

You have a home you want to build, so you ask around and get a suggestion for a general contractor from a friend. You trust your friend’s judgment and hire the contractor. The contractor comes in and never checks the land – instead he says, “WOW! Look at all this land you have. I know the market around here is tough, but you did a great job in getting this deal. You were wise in your decision making.” You beam with happiness and it bolstered your self-esteem. You now know if you should ever need to buy land again, you have the “know how”.

The next time you meet with the contractor, you bring a friend along. You see the contractor laying the foundation. Your friend notices and tries to point out something isn't quite right. Your friend has had experience in home-building, he just did the same thing a few years ago. He knows the contractor never checked the land, and while your friend is no expert, he is almost sure the foundation doesn’t look exactly level. You aren’t sure of the ins and outs of contracting, so you just continue with the process believing that this contractor knows what he is doing. When the contractor notices you two in discussion, and finally comes to speak. He says, “So, we are laying your foundation today. This is going to be the BEST laid foundation. It will make your home so sturdy. Trust and believe, with this foundation, all will be well!” Your friend still feels a little uneasy, not quite sure. But you leave with your hope and trust bolstered – the foundation will be well.

You meet with the contractor again. It has been about three weeks since your last meeting. The contractor has half the home done. From what you can tell, the house looks great. The contractor lauds over the state of the art materials used. He speaks highly of your floor plan choices. But what he fails to do is point out that there were faults with the support beams. He chose to overlook that and continued building.

Fast forward three years. There is a terrible rainstorm passing by. All homes are withstanding the rain and the battering wind, but something is happening to your home. The dirt around your home begins to shift; the foundation begins to crack; the ceiling of your home begins to sag. What’s wrong? What happened? You were told how great this home was, how sturdy it was, and all would be well.

All along the edification/building process, you the buyer were getting the “good side” of things. One the one hand, your friend tried to point out the weak spots - and had you listened, could have saved yourself heartache, pain, and thousands of dollars. On the other hand, the contractor was constantly building your confidence, assuring you all will be well. What that contractor failed to do during the building process was to point out the faults – the areas that needed correcting, fixing, or strengthening. This too was a very important part of building your home. Choosing to ignore that caused the whole home to become unstable and even possibly crumble to the ground when the storm came.

This is the same that happens when we choose to ignore the whole “building/edification process” in our lives. We cannot choose to ignore faults just to keep to building. We must be willing to see them. We must also be willing to be told about them. In order to edify, we not only have to see the "good" and encourage, but we have to see weaknesses, point them out and shore them up. Edification can’t be seen as a “feel good” festival – that is not the way to become “perfected” – for if we are already “good” how would we become better?

Edification requires balance. It also requires us all to be honest and truthful, both with ourselves and those around us. Edification must also give way for those who see faults to be able to point them out, for the strengthening of the person and/or the body. If that atmosphere is not provided, the very thing that has been carefully built will not only be able to stand, but it will crumble into a heap of ruins.

Proverbs 28:23 ESV
Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue.