How To Be A GODLY Wife (Series): Sub-WHAT? The "S" Word....

Titus 2:4-5

New Living Translation (NLT)

4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

 

"Do good and be submissive to their husbands." My how I want to spend about five weeks breaking this down. But I ain’t got that kinda time….So I am going to do my best in pulling out the lil nuggets in here. Satan has single handedly convinced many women everywhere that this is an archaic lie and anyone who follows it is a fool – hence the feminist movement that has destroyed more homes that you can shake a stick at.

Do good. Ladies…DO GOOD! I looked up what the “internet dictionary” had to say about “do good”…here is what it said: 

1.act virtuously, especially by helping others.

2.make a helpful contribution to a situation.

Looked up Strong’s definition in the concordance and this is what it said:

II. of good constitution or nature

III. useful, salutary

IV. good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy

V. excellent, distinguished

VI. upright, honourable

 

So, here we have two definitions of “do good” – the command for a wife. And both definitions are what I believe to be spot on, and connects us directly to being “submissive” to our husbands. Now, most people hear the word submissive and think “Don’t no man own me, I’m my OWN person.” And I say to you, you are not ready to be married in a GODLY marriage. That thought was solidified recently through this horrible feminist movement and goes directly against scripture….let’s explore:

Matthew 19:4-6

New Living Translation (NLT)4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’[a]” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’[b] 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Now, Jesus Himself said that. You can’t argue with what’s written in Red. You are not yourself any longer. When you stand with this man and vow under God’s name, you agree to be ONE with him.

You also agree with God’s mandate that the man should be the head of his wife and home. Yes, that is what you agree to. Forget the sickness and health part…you are agreeing to submit to this man’s leadership – so you better think twice before you say “yes” when he pops the question.

Ephesians 5:21-24

New Living Translation (NLT)Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands 

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

So, what does it mean to be submissive to your husband? Well, let’s talk about what it’s not. It in no way means be a doormat. By all means, if this man is beating you from slavery to freedom, you need to get out of that situation. If he is leading you astray from the Father, that is not to be submitted to – for YOU will give account for your soul.  If you know the Father then you know it is better to serve Him than man. I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO GET A DIVORCE MARRIED LADIES – the bible even gives instruction on what to do as a wife of an unbelieving husband – and divorce isn’t the answer (1 Peter 3:1-2, 1 Corinthians 7:13-17). But, what I am saying is that you don’t have to submit to following a false Christ because your husband is leading you there. It also does not mean that you don’t have an opinion or a voice in your home. You ARE allowed to have an opinion. God gave you a brain to think and to HELP him in the decision making process, as well as keep him on track with his life and calling.

What it DOES mean is this:

 

• You are NOT weak when you submit to your husband. What you are doing is allowing him to walk in the calling that God has called him to as the leader of your home.
• Your opinions count, but it is HE that ultimately makes the decisions in the home and you are not to go behind his back and supersede those decisions. If they are decisions you don’t agree with, you go to who HE is to submit to, the LORD – not your mom or your girlfriends – in prayer. Ask the Lord to help your husband make a GODLY decision, see things from your perspective, make the decision that is best for the family, lead you to someone that you BOTH can speak with that has godly wise counsel – whatever you need, but you are not to overstep your husband.
• You need to make sure that you love and have submitted to CHRIST first so that you can properly submit to your husband. Like submission to Christ is necessary, but totally voluntary, so is submission to your husband. If you can’t submit to Christ, there is no way you will accomplish the task of trusting your husband, a mere man, in letting him lead, guide, and protect you. Just like you aren’t an abused slave in Christ, but a servant of the Kingdom, so is it to be the same way in your home. You should CHOOSE to submit – not be forced.
• You have grown to understand that your submission isn’t because your husband deserves it, but because you love the Lord your God and you want to please and obey Him and His word.

Then, the word says if you can accomplish these things, you will not bring shame on the Lord and His word. Think of it this way – you will be looked upon as one who not only honors and loves her husband, respects his role of a man and leader, but you will be looked upon as a child of God who truly knows and understands how to follow His word and love Him as well.

Let’s discuss!

How To Be A GODLY Wife (Series): Learning And Understanding That Four Letter Word

Titus 2:4-5
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Yes, we are still in verse 4. There was just SO much there! But I think this will be the last one. Then we can move on the verse 5 (yay)! I want to again draw your attention to one word: "LOVE".

That word is thrown around a lot. "OMG! I just LOOOVE this scarf!" "Didn't you just LOVE that new dress? Girl, she is EVERYTHING!" "I know he beats me, but he LOVES me." See what I mean? This is a word that we must really be careful using.

Now, quick lesson. There are different types of love according to the bible.

1. Philos love. This is the "buddy-buddy" love. You love your best friend this way. You love your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ this way. Family members often share this kind of love. While it is strong, it is not the strongest type love. This love is created when there is a development of a relationship either because of shared experiences, kinship, etc. This love isn't driven by emotion, but CAN still be conditional. Anyone who knows what it's like to lose a best friend over a silly argument knows of this kind of love.
2. Eros love. This is better known as "erotic love" or "lustful love". It is not TRUE love, as this kind of love is only for self gratification (sexual in nature). This kind of love is conditional (as long as you make me feel good, we're cool; We don't need a relationship status, we are just friends with benefits!). This love is based solely off of how the person looks and makes us feel. This is the kind of love a man expresses to get in a girl's pants. As teenagers, we knew this love well - that crush, that puppy love. I'm often reminded of my mother who would say "Girl, you're not in love, you're in like!" And she was right. I was feeling a lustful love - not having to have sex, but loving the feeling of being with a boy who looked good and made me feel good and to be desired. This love will leave you lonely, confused, broken, and bitter (especially when uncommitted sex is involved). This love is the kind that leads to divorce. Many women fall for this kind of love and end up with dead end relationships and/or 4 babies with different daddies. Harsh, but true. 
3. Agape love. Now, we're talkin! This is unconditional love. This is the love that Christ Jesus has for His Church. This is the kind of love that we need to strive for in our marriages. This love fits the biblical definition of love: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.         

I find it odd, but not so much, that the verse says that older women have to "train" the younger women to love their husbands.s You would think that if you're marrying him/married him, you love him right? Loving someone with agape love doesn't come easy. There are going to be some very dark nights and you can't be irritable. There's going to be disagreements, and you can't keep record of who was wrong or right. This kind of love is FULL of self denial - something that we as a society aren't used to. Eros love comes easy. Philo love comes easy. But Agape love, is love that you certainly have to learn and train yourself in.

So, ladies, I urge you - learn, know, and understand 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 well. Understand that marriage is not conditional in the eyes of God. Again, marriage is a reflection of His Son and the Church. It is an unconditional binding that lasts forever. He has mandated that we love our husbands, that we never give up on them, never lose faith in them and always stay hopeful so that our marriages will endure every single circumstance - even when in the beginning you think "nah buddy, see, this ain't gone work!", or he finally lets himself do the annoying stuff that you didn't know that he did, or he loses his job, or you find out he has another child about the same age as how long that you've been together - every circumstance. Learn that, know that, internalize that, live that.

Okay! On to verse 5 now. In the meantime, let's discuss!! :-D

How To Be A GODLY Wife (Series): That ONE Word Makes A HUGE Difference

Titus 2:4-5New Living Translation (NLT)4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

More of verse 4....

I don't mean to bombard you, but I had to dive into this because now it's burning my chest (that's how I know when I HAVE to speak up about something smh).

I want to draw your attention to one small, but VERY important word: THEIR. Now, I want to to do some quick cross-referencing...remember, this is GODLY advice. Some stuff is going to sting, and other stuff is gonna get you mad or make you feel like it's "not that important". BUT GODLY WISDOM IS ALWAYS IMPORTANT. And the first step in a failing marriage is thinking that it's not....

Exodus 20:14New Living Translation (NLT)14 “You must not commit adultery.

Proverbs 6:32New Living Translation (NLT)32 But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool,for he destroys himself. <----I will venture and say for our purposes we can say "woman" and "she" and "herself" as well.

Matthew 5:28New Living Translation (NLT)28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Now, back to the word "THEIR". As we can see, the Lord takes the monogamy of marriage VERY seriously. Marriage is a direct reflection of the relationship of Christ Jesus and HIS CHURCH (which is why "other types" of marriages really don't make sense and aren't real, but I digress).

The author says train the younger women on how to love THEIR husbands. And look at the new standard that Christ set: If anyone even LOOKS at a woman (here for our purposes we can say "man" - it still applies) with lust they have already committed adultery. Do you ladies see that? If someone even LOOKS at another man with lust....ooooh yes, that even means in movies, in these so called "calendar pictures", on the street, on TV, and even in our MINDS - HELLO! YOU ma'am are already committing adultery. The Lord takes this commandment so seriously that it is even punishable by eternal separation (hell) from Him.

Your commitment to your husband is to. YOUR. husband. The reason this is so serious is because if you are able to divide your desire and share that with another man (even if that man doesn't know that you exist - like Idris Elba), you are willing to divide your heart and not only does that make you an unstable wife, it also makes you an unstable servant of the Lord. You want a stable marriage? First step, keep your eyes IN YO HEAD! Sure, you can acknowledge that someone is handsome. But when you step into the realm of getting hot flashes, dry mouth, and get to stuttering and what not - YOU ma'am need to repent. And I say that with SO much seriousness.

It's not just the act, it's the thought before the act that our enemy likes to play with. Don't allow it - AT ALL. If you know men are a weakness, you should NOT be getting married. If you are married, you should be seeking the Lord to change your desires for your husband only.

And also, for all you "church women" who are married. Please also be mindful that this passage says how to love YOUR husband....NOT your "Pastor". He has his OWN wife that should be tending to his needs. You are charged to care for your husband and your husband only. Love HIM, makes sure HE is safe and secure in his home. How about you fix HIS plate first at a church function and make HIM a plate to take home first? That is what is proper. You never take care of another man (especially if he is married) before you take care and spend time with your husband - I don't care who it is, unless it's Jesus the Christ Himself.

Shew, glad I got that off my chest  Let's discuss 

How To Be A GODLY Wife (Series): Introduction

So, I've done "WILTS", the 10 commandments, homeschooling tips....and now I'm feeling the need to talk with the young women just getting or about to be married. I'm talking to the ladies who want their relationships to last...who wants God's blessings, who even in tough times WANTS their marriages to stand strong through it all. Women who don't want to give up on their husbands or soon to be husbands. Women who want to learn how to raise and love their children in a loving and godly home. These next few stats are for you. And if there are ANY godly women out there that will like to chime in with their wisdom, please feel free to do so. We have ppl out there like "Tyrese" and "Steve Harvey" out there trying to give women advice, let's see what the MAKER of godly marriage has to say about it....

Titus 2:4-5
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.