How To Be A GODLY Wife (Series): Learning And Understanding That Four Letter Word

Titus 2:4-5
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[a] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Yes, we are still in verse 4. There was just SO much there! But I think this will be the last one. Then we can move on the verse 5 (yay)! I want to again draw your attention to one word: "LOVE".

That word is thrown around a lot. "OMG! I just LOOOVE this scarf!" "Didn't you just LOVE that new dress? Girl, she is EVERYTHING!" "I know he beats me, but he LOVES me." See what I mean? This is a word that we must really be careful using.

Now, quick lesson. There are different types of love according to the bible.

1. Philos love. This is the "buddy-buddy" love. You love your best friend this way. You love your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ this way. Family members often share this kind of love. While it is strong, it is not the strongest type love. This love is created when there is a development of a relationship either because of shared experiences, kinship, etc. This love isn't driven by emotion, but CAN still be conditional. Anyone who knows what it's like to lose a best friend over a silly argument knows of this kind of love.
2. Eros love. This is better known as "erotic love" or "lustful love". It is not TRUE love, as this kind of love is only for self gratification (sexual in nature). This kind of love is conditional (as long as you make me feel good, we're cool; We don't need a relationship status, we are just friends with benefits!). This love is based solely off of how the person looks and makes us feel. This is the kind of love a man expresses to get in a girl's pants. As teenagers, we knew this love well - that crush, that puppy love. I'm often reminded of my mother who would say "Girl, you're not in love, you're in like!" And she was right. I was feeling a lustful love - not having to have sex, but loving the feeling of being with a boy who looked good and made me feel good and to be desired. This love will leave you lonely, confused, broken, and bitter (especially when uncommitted sex is involved). This love is the kind that leads to divorce. Many women fall for this kind of love and end up with dead end relationships and/or 4 babies with different daddies. Harsh, but true. 
3. Agape love. Now, we're talkin! This is unconditional love. This is the love that Christ Jesus has for His Church. This is the kind of love that we need to strive for in our marriages. This love fits the biblical definition of love: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.         

I find it odd, but not so much, that the verse says that older women have to "train" the younger women to love their husbands.s You would think that if you're marrying him/married him, you love him right? Loving someone with agape love doesn't come easy. There are going to be some very dark nights and you can't be irritable. There's going to be disagreements, and you can't keep record of who was wrong or right. This kind of love is FULL of self denial - something that we as a society aren't used to. Eros love comes easy. Philo love comes easy. But Agape love, is love that you certainly have to learn and train yourself in.

So, ladies, I urge you - learn, know, and understand 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 well. Understand that marriage is not conditional in the eyes of God. Again, marriage is a reflection of His Son and the Church. It is an unconditional binding that lasts forever. He has mandated that we love our husbands, that we never give up on them, never lose faith in them and always stay hopeful so that our marriages will endure every single circumstance - even when in the beginning you think "nah buddy, see, this ain't gone work!", or he finally lets himself do the annoying stuff that you didn't know that he did, or he loses his job, or you find out he has another child about the same age as how long that you've been together - every circumstance. Learn that, know that, internalize that, live that.

Okay! On to verse 5 now. In the meantime, let's discuss!! :-D